Northwestern vs. Ohio State, a serious and self-parodically high-brow preview

“Once upon a time you dressed so fine You threw the bums a dime in your prime, didn’t you ? People’d call, say, “Beware doll, you’re bound to fall.” -Bob Dylan,”Like a Rolling Stone”, Highway 61 Revisited  Those branches of the night and day Where the gaudy moon is hung. What’s the meaning of all […]

NUTC Beginner’s Guide: Ri(e)gionals

(Note: All events in this story have been heavily dramatized, ad-libbed, retconned, rewritten and possibly fabricated by myself for comedic purposes.) “De coniuratione cursores” – The secret history of the Northwestern Track Club, and its many mortal enemies. Prologue: Priorities Palma, Spain – July 25, 1987 The president of Northwestern University, Arnold R. Weber, sat […]

Northwestern Athletics campaigns…

In honor of the latest goofy, unnecessary and completely less-than-amusing ad campaign proposing Bryant McIntosh to be the face of the dime, because, you know, assists. And while we’re using unpaid athletes’ likenesses to increase sales and market the university, I have some suggestions for Northwestern’s PR department for their next move. If the Shoe […]

If Northwestern had gotten blown out by Iowa…

This is the column I had prepared if Northwestern was blown out by Iowa. That did not happen, but I thought it was still worth reading. Although he saw the vast meadows of the Valley of Mexico stretch into the horizon, he couldn’t feel that the world he inhabited was now younger. Not much younger […]