My application to be the coach of the Wisconsin men’s basketball team

So it turns out Wisconsin is taking open applications to be the new men’s basketball head coach. Obviously there is a 99 percent chance the Badgers rehire Greg Gard, but I figured that 1 percent was worth a shot at a $300,000 annual salary (not including benefits). I have just finished my application to be the head […]

Northwestern vs. Michigan Preview

This is Part 3. Here is Part 2 and Part 1 . If you want an actual preview of the game, read this article from Inside NU. Tuesday, February 23 – 7:58 p.m.  – Ann Arbor, Michigan College basketball is afraid of me. I have seen its true face. The games, the terrible refereeing decisions, hating Duke–they are merely makeup that […]

ZZZBB Ends Season With a 51-26 Defeat

The final whistle blew, disgusting black and yellow pinnies were removed and the ZetaZigaZama Basketball team walked off the court for the final time in 2016. After a third consecutive blowout defeat, spirits were low, but in the end, the weekly intramural basketball had been a fun experience. ZZZBB’s 51-26 loss to ZBT 1 put […]

5 Limericks About the New York Mets

Warning, these limericks may contain objectionable language directed at a certain ex-Philly. 1. Eric Campbell Finds a Way Eric Campbell always finds a way To be in the lineup, on certain days “Soup’s on” all the time! As his hitting declines. Eric Campbell, a player, hooray… 2. Michael Conforto I’m so excited for Michael Conforto […]

ZetaZigaZama Falls Apart in Second Half, Loses by 46

Once the players walked out onto the floor, everyone realized ZetaZigaZama Ball is Life would have serious problems in this game. Delt Gold, ZZZBB’s opponents, had breezed past its previous three opponents, putting the team fourth in the power rankings just behind elite teams like Get Wet With Friends and Mat Sci. Delt Gold had […]